Friday, March 03, 2006

Go Pizza! Go Guard!

You know things are bad when the National Guard is advertising on pizza boxes. I ordered a pizza last night and the whole box was covered with the good news about all the college tuition the National Guard provides for signing up. "You paid for the pizza, now how about college? (What?) Cash every month! Enlistment bonus! 100% tuition assistance!" Obviously, they have to be hoping the young people they're targeting don't watch the news or realize that 40% of the troops over in Iraq are National Guardsmen. And they must be hoping also that they don't eat too much pizza. But then again they're lowering their standards on drug addicts and criminals, so why not fat slobs too?

And hey, remember kids, not only do you get all the great training that you can use in civilian life, when and if you get back in one piece, but we'll pay for college, too. (Such a deal.) Well, sooner or later anyway. I hear the VA is a little slow on getting that tuition money to all of those folks that have already got back. Must be a little glitch in the system, which I'm sure will be fixed at least by the time they're ready for social security.

And what kind of training do you get in the National Guard that you can use back home? They're taking artillery and tank units and turning them into infantry units. They're taking everything including the kitchen sink and turning it into infantry units, so what do you with your highly skilled training in cleaning and firing an M-16? Hunting junkets with Dick Cheney?


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