Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Oh, what the hell, nail the Patriots anyway:

So, maybe Arlen's protestations of his own integrity are slightly suspect and he's wasting our time and tax money pursuing this non-issue, but wouldn't it feel good to see Bill Belichick have to testify in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee? I mean, how the mighty have fallen! Here's is a guy who was regarded as a coaching genius, the architect of potentially one of the greatest NFL teams in history, now mired in a cheating controversy.

His reputation and the reputation of the Patriots franchise is on the line and it doesn't help their case any that Belches and his arrogant, pretty-boy QB Tom Brady have turned out to be such classless jerks. What NFL coach runs off the field of a Super Bowl before time has even run out? Did he run over to Tom Coughlin and shake his hand? No, he made a beeline for the head ref to chew him out about some bad call or some other perceived slight. Very classy. (And that red flag he through for that 12-men on the field call was a real class act, too, btw.)

I think it's a pretty safe bet to say that the Patriots are the most hated team in the league these days. You know, as a Dolphins fan, I've never really had any animosity towards the Patriots one way or the other. I know their fans hate us for all the years of domination, but that's their problem. No, ask any Dolphins fan and they will tell you all our hate is reserved solely for lowly, stinking, Gang Green.

At one point, I even kind of respected what the Patsies were doing, but the way they went out in the Super Bowl is a real disgrace to every team that's ever made it to the ultimate game. Come to think of it, even before they got to the big game, they were running up the scores on teams and not making any pretense that they thought that they were good enough to go undefeated. And that fake "clock play" they pulled on us in Miami (which didn't work) -- trying to catch us like Dan Marino famously caught the Jets back in the glory years -- was a real slap in the face. The Miami Dolphins aren't just any other team, most teams in the league respect that, but not the Patriots and that's why they're no class assholes.

Just keep in mind Patriots fans, we may still be a few years away -- what with having to reconstruct the entire team from scratch -- but we do play you all twice a year and we're not going to forget. Kicking a team when they're down is bad enough, but don't do it to a team in your own division! If you have to run it up do it to the Cardinals, they're used to it, but the Miami Dolphins? Pay back is a bitch and we're going to get ours! One other thing I'd like to point out before I wrap this tirade up; the difference between teams like the Dolphins, the Steelers, Dallas, the Giants, or even (gag) the Raiders, and upstarts like the Patriots or the Bangles, teams that have spent most of their existence in the league sucking, is that these storied franchises are the flagships of the league. They're the teams people who love the game of football associate with greatness and glory; the very best of the NFL.

All those games in a row the Patriots won, all 18, mean absolutely nothing without winning the big one, something fans of all the greatest teams know. Brady & Co. talked a lot of smack and strutted around the league like they were God's gift and then choked when it really came down to it. The New York Giants obviously wanted it more. There will be no talk of the greatest team ever, no undefeated season; nothing, zero, zilch.

There's only one undefeated team and you're never going to take that away or share it with us. Greatest Team Ever! In 1973, an even better Miami Dolphins team than the one that went undefeated the year before, destroyed the Minnesota Vikings in Super Bowl VIII.

As NFL films announcer and Philadelphia King of Television News John Facenda put it: "Minnesota had been decisively defeated, but it was more a result of Miami Dolphin brilliance than their own failure. Minnesota had simply met the irresistible force and had been crushed by it. Defensive end Carl Eller summed it up best when he said:

'I have never seen a more dominating team than the Miami Dolphins. All afternoon I had the feeling the outcome had already been determined from on high before we even took the field. It seemed I could hear Scottish bagpipes keeping time as they came after us wave after wave, gaining ground so easily they seemed to be floating in suspended animation. It was a weird, surreal scene as if we were on the sidelines watching our own struggle powerless to do anything about it. After a while it became obvious they could not be stopped.'"

Put that in your musket and smoke it Boston!


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